What's wrong with this picture?

This is one of the many shirts my son has destroyed with his teeth! In K-4 he would suck on his shirt collar and sleeves. I figured it was just a security issue and would fade with time. Eventually, he broke the habit, or so we thought. After the grade skip, the habit started again, with a vengeance. Not a day went by that my son came home with a shirt that didn't look like swiss cheese.

Was this just a bad habit or a sign that something was really wrong? Considering my son's level of energy, I knew sitting still in school was not a fun experience. He never got in "trouble" for it, he just found an outlet. I noticed at home, when he worked on something that was challenging for him, he never chewed. It was only when doing mindless, routine activities that the chewing would happen. Even if he read at home, there was no chewing, so I was pretty sure it was inappropriate placement that was doing him in (and killing our clothing budget!)

When talking to friends with gifted children about my experience I found out this was a common sort of problem. Some situations were much more severe than ours. One friend had a son go through a nervous breakdown in elementary school and a daughter that picked at her skin until it became full of infected sores. I heard about many children who either zoned out all day in class or became the ultimate trouble makers. What were all of these highly intelligent children suffering from? I believe it all boiled down to lack of appropriate challenge and improper educational placement. Sometimes it was educator's lack of knowledge about gifted children that brought it on. Sometimes inflexible rules about what was allowed in a certain district.

The shirts were a clear sign to me of what was going on inside of my son everyday. Not enough learning=shirt chewed to bits. Some days he would come home and blow up about every little thing. When I'd ask what the problem was, he would say it was a bad day at school. He had a hard time being specific about what was wrong. He loved his teachers, especially his second grade teacher. He wanted to be happy in school. I think some of the time he felt guilty for wanting so much more than they were willing to give.

When I first suggested the possibility to him that we might pull him out of public school, he worked harder to fit the mold. But a few months after we first mentioned it, he told me he wanted to leave his school and be at home. I was glad he had made the decision on his own. It would make my job so much easier. I know so many kids whose parents just can not bring their kids home to cyber school. They need to work full time or have other issues that prevent it. As a person who has worked with an advocacy group for the last two years, I want to make the public brick and mortar schools do what is right for those children. I hope to still have enough energy while working with my kids to devote time to that effort. No child should have to suffer. These are supposed to be the best years of their lives! Why should they be forced to slow their pace to match their classmates?

I'll close this post with a link to one of my favorite sites, Hoagiesgifted. This particular link is to the, "Ridiculous things I've heard today" page. These are the kinds of things parents and children are being told on a regular basis.

http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/ridiculous_things.htm


Something needs to change in our educational system. It is broken, can we fix it?