Consequences

One of the problems with a gifted child, especially those gifted in language, is their tendency to act like a lawyer. My parents will probably enjoy reading this post as they remember the parent curse they put me under; "I hope someday you have a child just like you!"

JT has become an expert litigator. We ask him to do something or not to do something and he can spout off every reason why he shouldn't be asked to do whatever it is. We have been dealing with this since he was able to speak. But recently, he's thrown in an exciting new twist. He no longer seems to care about consequences. Usually when JT is refusing to do assignments for school, we work towards taking away privileges. A couple days ago, he declared he didn't care if he lost his computer privileges. From there it moved towards not caring for the loss of any other fun stuff. He was determined to hold out to win the battle.

My husband has come up with a new plan that involves moving JT through a series of levels where he loses different privileges and can't regain them until he stops moving to the next level down the ladder. This seems to be helping a bit. Part of my problem has come from the fact that when JT would lose several days at a time on one bad day, I would allow him to gain back what he had lost with good behavior. I think he had decided that he could be as 'bad' as he wanted, then when he felt like it, be 'good' and regain what he had lost.

I have to admit, this was my worst week since we started cyber school. I felt miserable and did NOT want to spend another minute in the classroom. I had friends who warned me not to give up the first couple weeks we started. I wasn't prepared for this when things had been going so well. So my bit of advice to other parents is; be prepared for the low points. I believe they will come throughout the process. I've had jobs (out in the REAL world) where I wanted to give up. I didn't because I needed the money. I think it would be easier to give up here when so many people already think you are doing something unnecessary. Because I know this is so very necessary for my child, I will remember that this time in my life will be over in a flash. When the boys have gone on to succesful lives, the percentage of 'bad' days will be a small portion of the big picture. At least, I hope they will be.... :-)